In some countries in the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that is good for a country, while others believe that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Color Key for Feedback:

• 🔴 Red highlights issues related to Lexical Resource – such as word choice, spelling, and vocabulary repetition.

• 🟢 Green indicates feedback on Grammatical Range and Accuracy – including subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure.

• 🟡 Yellow points out problems with Coherence and Cohesion – such as sentence flow, linking devices, and clarity of ideas.

In some countries in the world , some people earn extremly high salaries. Some people think that is good for a country, while others believe that government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Overall Band Score: 6
⭐️

🟡Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6

• Logical Structure: This essay follows a clear plan of introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.

• Introduction & Conclusion:

  • The introduction introduces the topic, but you should paraphrase the question more precisely.

  • The conclusion adequately summarizes the key points.

• Supported Main Points:

  • The essay generally supports the main points, but some of the supporting details are vague.

  • For example, how the wage gap leads to corruption is not explained well.

• Accurate Linking Words:

  • The linking words (e.g., "on the other hand," "for instance") are used accurately.

🔴Lexical Resource: Band 6

• Varied Vocabulary:

  • High repetition of certain phrases lowers your score in this criterion.

• Accurate Spelling & Word Formation:

  • The essay contains multiple spelling errors:

    • "extremly" (should be "extremely")

    • "librariran" (should be "librarian")

    • "lowed" (should be "lower")

    • "lifestyle" (should be singular, "lifestyle," not plural)

• Collocations:

  • Collocations, or common word pairings, are a bit off. For example:

    • "high salaries" is fine, but "extremely high salaries" is more common than "extremely higher salaried employees."

🟢Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5

• Mix of Complex & Simple Sentences:

  • There is a clear attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but this has led to many mistakes.

  • Some sentences are much longer than they should be.

• Accuracy:

  • There are frequent mistakes in grammar accuracy.
    

🔵Task Achievement: Band 7

• Complete Response:

  • While you have clearly tried to provide reasons behind your argument and examples, try to give more reasons.

• Clear & Comprehensive Ideas:

  • Your ideas are clear, but some explanations could be refined. For instance, how the wage gap leads to increased corruption is not explained well enough.

• Relevant & Specific Examples:

  • You have provided relevant examples, but providing large-scale data (even fake ones) might improve the argument in this essay.

• Appropriate Word Count:

  • The word count is appropriate.

Learn how to write a stronger discussion essay and improve your performance in lexical resource, grammatical range and accuracy, task response, and coherence and cohesion by exploring the resources on our website.

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